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Old Screeds

Centaur, Liontaur, and Minotaur Jokes

What do you get when you cross a maintenance engineer with a horse?

A janitaur.

You've got to be careful in trusting what a minotaur tells you. Half of it's bull.

Wemics are the ones you got a be careful of -- they are known to be lyin'!

How long does it take to get through a labyrinth?

A minotaur two.

Two centaurs are battling it out against dozens of orcs (and doing so quite well!). Amidst all the fighting they can see a couple of well armed minotaurs approaching in the distance. One centaur looks to the other and dryly remarks "Oh great. Looks like the calve-ery has arrived"

Two halflings were having a friendly argument over who should get the last mug of ale, when a centaur walks in, pushes the halflings aside, and grabs the ale mug, draining it in one go. The two halfings look at each other, then turn to the centaur and say, "You're such a horse's butt!"

It was hard not to watch the new bard because he was the centaur of attention.

Barratore the minotaur catches up with Bramah in the Giggling Ghost Tavern
"Why do female centaurs avoid milk?"
Oh gods no. "Why Barratore."
"Because they are lack-toes, intolerant!"
"I have to kill you now, brother..."

A lion, a bull, and a horse walk into a taur ...

What do you call a baby minotaur in the ocean?

a Minnowtaur

What did the Minotaur's wife say?

Not tonight dear, I have a Tauriffic headache.

Did you know that liontaurs all have low levels of iron in their blood?

Apparently, they are all a little a-wemic.

What is the most fantastical way to combat the spread of mummy rot?

Working with The Centaur for Disease Control!

Which joke do you like the best?

I think I am taur up over all of them.

Many thanks for those groaners to Ryan, Rob, Jeremy, John, Jerry, Kent, Mark, Dan, and others.

I also went out and found a few taurs in the funny papers. Enjoy these too, please. As a reward for reading through the ones above!

Let's start out with two from the amazingly funny Lore Sjöberg, from his series of First Edition Monster Manual comics.


Here's a funny Alex and Cruz comic from Dean Scheppel and Jed Davis ... with a leopard-taur!

Here's one from and another from a Zazzle greeting card.

Here's a centaur / minotaur / other-taur comic from the hilarious John McNamee.

And here are a bunch of centaur comics to enjoy. And here are even more centaur comics. Enjoy!

Home | This post was created on 8 July 2020, based on a message board chat from March 2020