A primary scholarly source for info on lion-centaurs in Ancient Assyria is "Mesopotamian Protective Spirits: The Ritual Texts," by F. A. M. Wiggermann, published in 1992 by Groningen Styx publications. Here is a scan of page 98 of that work:
Yes, my friends, the very first lion-centaur conceived by humans is a spirit invoked to protect you when you are sitting on the john. Evidently, using the loo was a fearsome thing for the ancients, who worried about flatulence and stroke and things coming up the pipes and getting you. Here is a historian, Chrissy Senecal of Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania, who has written about the toilet demon Sulak and his archenemy, the Urmahlullu:
If you were ever saddened to learn that Santa Claus isn't real (sorry), I am here to cheer you up by letting you know that the Ancient Mesopotamians believed in the existence of a fearsome toilet demon that could rise up out of the commode and attack a person at their most vulnerable. This was Sulak, aka "the Lurker," aka "Dirty Hands," who looked like a lion that walked upright, but attacked his victims by giving them diseases, medical strokes, or possessing them. One Old Babylonian text warns against using the lavatory (or "bit musati" aka "fart-house" or "house of rinse/urine water") in the autumnal month of Tasritu, lest Sulak strike.
I've known about — and blogged about — this lavatory connection to leonine centaurs for a very very long time. So I'm really treading old ground with this discussion of urmahlullus as defenders of "ablutions suites," to quote Wiggerman quoting an academic named Turner. But what I want to really get at here is this: No one who has laughed at South Park will be surprised to note that in our degraded and debased age, we enjoy scatalogical humor. Including Guardians of Toilets and the Demons they oppose. Because Prof. Senecal is not just highlighting an interesting part of Anceint Assyrian culture; no, she is poking some gentle fun.
And just to be clear, that's OK! We are a crude and rude people, arguably the same as our Homo Erectus forebears who laughed at farts before they had a word for "fart." (See what I did there? Homo Erectus *snick*) And I have to admit, I myself have had the odd chuckle thinking of wemics guarding bathrooms.
So what I'm doing in this post is pointing out a couple of the more elaborate and wonderful takes on urmahlullus as toilet guardians. I have two more fun ones to show you. And your inner 11-year-old tween.
This lovely piece of art, created in 2020 by "Egypt Urnash," aka Margaret Trauth, aka Peggy, suggests (to me) the stay-at-home influence of the Covid pandemic:
I reached out to the artist herself, who has created products you can buy based on her work. (Check out her shop!) I asked a few questions about her inspiration, and she sent me a wonderful funny email in return. With her permission ...
I wish I could remember how I ended up on the Wikipedia page about urmahlullus but I am pretty sure that is where I was when I decided to draw one. Having a magical guardian of the bathroom sounded like a really good idea once I knew they were a thing. Mine ended up being more housecat than lion because, well, I don't live in a huge palace with enough room for a full-sized one!
I've sold a few copies of that piece over the years but not a ton. I do however have a small print of it on the outside of my bathroom door, and also have it on a shower curtain. Every so often I pull the curtain closed after doing my business in the bathroom, light a candle, and chant the sacred phrase SAN ITIZD FORYOR PROTEK SHOON while mentally thanking her for keeping me and my family from the demons of the privy. Now and then when I do this particularly hard my husband ends up with a sudden urge to clean the fuck out of the bathroom that I suspect might be her doing.
When we first hung the shower curtain, all the cats were suddenly very interested in exploring the forbidden territory of the bathroom, I guess they had to come say hi to the new denizen of the local astral plane.
I think all of the prints I've heard about people buying have ended up in bathrooms. She's got a domain and everyone knows it, and I am glad to have played a small part in providing places for unemployed urmahlullus to ply their trade, and get fat and happy on all the astral nasties attracted to people's bathrooms.
Peggy, many thanks for the laughs and for your delightful urmahlullu!
I have one more light-hearted urmahlullu to show you — a very professional animation by the creative folks at the Extra History / Extra Mythology YouTube Channel. Here is a direct link to the video on YouTube. (The comments are pretty amusing, too!) And here is the embed, so you can watch it in all its glory without leaving your beloved wemic site. Enjoy!
